The manager (who we will call Jesse) was new and very eager to do a good job. She made the effort and everyone could see she was trying very hard. Her boss was not a “people” person and usually barked out feedback.
This was shocking to Jesse and almost made her quit her dream job.
Jesse was given an opportunity as manager even though her boss had reservations. He knew she needed a “thick skin” because the work was challenging and seasoned people on the team were not always appreciative.
Jesse was about to learn a valuable lesson that would make or break her success as a leader.
TIP: It is Not Personal
Giving and receiving feedback are core skills for managers. They need to help their staff do their best job so they have to encourage, appreciate, coach and evaluate, and this means, telling people how to do the job better.
And since everyone is unique with their own personality, feedback comes in many different flavors! Being able to receive feedback with a smile, despite how it feels, is an indicator of strong emotional intelligence. It is an impressive quality.
Jesse needed to learn this. As the manager, she had to recognize that learning is a continuous process and if something did not go as planned or her boss gave her abrupt feedback, it did not mean she failed.
She learned that this is what it meant to have “thick skin.” Even though she never really liked the abrupt style of her boss, she was able to appreciate him and what he was helping her achieve. And this created a mutual relationship of respect.
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